Gerald C Dalek takes a dim view of merriment
Happy December! American readers, I hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving. In the UK? Not long til you can celebrate Boxing Day, and buy a settee.
Since arriving in GreenandPleasantland, I’ve made it my on-and-off mission to flood … okay, slightly dampen … Yorkshire with hand turkeys. (1) Learning to draw one was, and for all I know still is, taught to every American child age 5 and up, but is relatively unknown on these soggy shores. (2)
By Sheila, age 50-summat
My artistic skills, alas, are limited (see above). I asked artist Tom Brown of “Hopeless, Maine” if he could oblige with an illustration for my new short story collection, and my husband David to design a cover.
Tom could. David did:
“What! No Pudding?” takes its title from a story of the same name featuring Professor S. Fiendish, and his best friend, Harold Harold Seal. You probably won’t guess what the Professor is. As for Harold Harold, the name’s on the skin.
Other stories include “Bill the Dragon and the Defenestrated Bede”, “Penelope, Queen of the Dole Queue”, “Not Another Book Club”, and “Turf Wars”.
“Turf” begins with the premise that there really are faeries living at the bottom of the garden. It then goes on to ask: what if there is a faery for every garden? And what happens when Garden Faeries fight? (3)
It’s not pretty. Then again, neither are my garden faeries. No matter what they may think.
The collection concludes with a Christmas story, “Joe Bloggs and the Quest Moth of Doom”. Because a short story collection which debuts in early December, and doesn’t have a Crimbo story, is like a big holiday meal without pudding. (4)
Fancy a bit o’ “Pudding”? It’s available from today, 2nd December 2014.
Eight stories. Around fifteen thousand words. Weirdness? Guaranteed.
To order the “Pudding” e-book, for imaginary custard, try: What! No Pudding? (UK) Or, for whimsical whipped cream: What! No Pudding? (US)
(1) I call them hand turkeys, as you draw them by tracing around your hand. I cannot recall what Miss Brudna, my kindergarten teacher, called them.
(2) I flood S Yorks with these drawings. A dear friend of mine does something similar, but with magic wands.
(3) “When Garden Faeries Fight!” Coming in 2015 on UnReality TV!
(4) After nearly 30 years in Yorkshire, I am still somewhat mystified by what constitutes “pudding” and what is simply the dessert course, or afters, or “sweet” course.
sheila north 
Very excited about the book.
It was great fun to write, less so to go about publishing. Gerald C Dalek nearly exterminated the house down, he was getting so fed up …